The Real Reasons You Are Stressed Out, And They Aren’t What You Think!

Photo by A. L. on Unsplash

Hello everyone and welcome back!  Today I am going to talk about the real reasons you are stressed out and why they aren’t what you think.

If you are like me, you think that you are stressed out because of work, family life, your to-do list, the things that aren’t going well in your life….the list goes on.  But, that is not the case.

I am going to share this quote to you that really struck me.  It is by Wayne Dyer, “Your thoughts, not the world cause your stress.”  Let me say that again, “your thoughts, not the world create your stress.”

When I first read this quote it was like an awakening for me.  It made me feel in control of how my life was going and how I could feel every day.  I have a tendency to let a lot of things in life stress me out and get under my skin, so I have to continually remind myself that I have a choice in how I react to any situation.  I don’t have to let anything stress me out.  And you don’t either!

Once I realized that my stress was coming from within, that it didn’t matter if I changed jobs or relationships, or had a really long to-do list all of my stress was coming from my fears.  Then, I was able to identify specifically just what it was that I was so afraid of and I could begin to make changes to release these fears and let go of my stress.

I am going to list out some really common fears or habits that people have and that I had, if any of these resonate with you then it is definitely worth doing some work on.

  • Lack of Confidence
  • Fear of Making a Mistake/ Being Embarrassed
  • Not Feeling Good Enough
  • Scared to Be Ourselves/ Need Approval
  • Fear of the unknown
  • Fear of Losing It All
  • Fear of Failure/ Success
  • Fear of Criticism
  • Fear of Being Vulnerable / Being Seen

If you are like me, you clicked with more than one of the fears/habits that I listed.  But the good news is that you have the power to make these fears have less of a hold on you and therefore release stress.  This is very empowering!

Steps to overcome our fears:

  1. Identify what your fear is. Where does it come from?  How has it been serving you all this time?  Get really clear on what is scaring you.
  2. Challenge the fear. Your fears are simply limiting negative thoughts that you chose to believe are true.  When you feel fear and identify what you are afraid of you can challenge it with another thought.  Ask yourself, ”Do I really need to believe this?”  “Is this true?”
  3. Take an action against the fearful thought. This will help to disprove it in your mind.  Even though you are scared, you are strong enough to move through it.

I would recommend creating some affirmations about these fears that challenge them. 

I’ll give you a few affirmations that I like to use:

  • “I have the courage to shine bright.” – great for the fear of being vulnerable / being seen.
  • “I have the courage to use my voice confidently.” – great for the fear of being scared to be ourselves/ need approval, lack of confidence
  • “I am more than enough just as I am.” – great for the fear of making a mistake/ being embarrassed, not feeling good enough, scared to be ourselves/ need approval
  • “I deeply and completely love myself, and all is well in my world.” – great for the fear of failure/ success, fear of criticism, fear of being vulnerable / being seen

Remember that is going to take daily and consistent practice, but eventually you will start to notice that these fears are less present in your life and you are less stressed!  And who doesn’t want that?!